Wedding Plans

I used to dream of 3 days and nights party for my wedding someday. The one with a complex set of Javanese tradition, and everyone attending will be yawning every consecutive minute. I used to think, I'll save all the money I make and reward myself with this show to let people know I'm capable of throwing this large party that everyone's gonna talk about for years to come, but not any more...

photo came from here

According to my pre-minimalism idealism, I think I would want to have like a really small wedding, when I say small, it will really really small. The attendance will only be me and him. I thought of going to the marriage registration place in a cheap suit just like Carrie did on Sex and the City: the Movie, and shock my parents when my husband and I get home. But then I had a better idea....

I saw on the news about a mass-wedding where some institution will fund up the marriage registrations and make a cute ceremony for people who wants to get married and not have the money yet. This is a charity work. I actualy find the idea quite unjustifiable because people who cannot afford to have a wedding party means that they cannot afford a marriage and I wonder what will happen to their kids. Are they gonna be roaming along the market's roads carrying an empty can? I thought hese people were stupid for their choice of getting married for free, but then I thought the idea is kind of fun!

So the plan is that my husband-to-be and me are just plain rich, and in fact could afford an extravagant wedding with Pavarotti as the wedding singer, but since we will be the wacky couple that we will be, and loves to get jiggy (whatever jiggy means), we'll just get married at a mass wedding! It won't be that embarassing because everybody knows that we are damn filthy rich, it's just that we like being silly and keep our marriage discreet, I guess. Wait, why would I want my marriage discreet? Whatever.

Hmm Career Choice

In order of appearance:

Sterwardess (then i had glasses and grew short)

Corruptor (so childish of a dream)

Pop singer (still want to :p)

Ambassador for Indonesia (cool right, travel around the world, but i don't think i'll stand the sucking up they do, i used to thought i was capable though)

Traditional dancer (so cool)

Hollywood actress (i thought i could act, and i'm pretty)

Journalist (lifestyle, relationship, comedy collumns on sunday paper)

Teacher (it seems harmless, but i used to swear i'd never be a teacher)

Lecturer (yeah, i'd love to try)

Band manager (seems cool, but the band has to be fusion band wooot wooot!!)

Prostitute (this is plan Z, but what the heck)

Life coach (it seems cool to motivate people, but i'm the one who needs motivation here)

Relationship expert/councilor (BUT I'M NOO EXPERT LALALLAAA)

Shrink (it seems cool to get people out of their wickedness, but i'm in english lit, i dont know)

Fitness/aerobic instructor (hmm why not?)





Professional photographer (this i want so badly right now. "How" is the question)

The Real Life

Dulu waktu gw kecil sd, smp, sma, cita-cita gw jadi jeng kafe jajan berlian. Pingiiiiiiiiin banget, soalnya dalam kehidupan kayak gitu, semua panca indera termanjakan. Makanan enak dari chef bule, kain yang menyentuh kulit halus, lotion yang dipasang kualitas selangit, musik di stereo mobil tuh yang top punya, yang diliat barang-barang bagus doang, yang dicium parfum temen-temen yang ga pusing kayak di angkot. Tapi sekarang gw makin gede, gw jadi sadar bahwa hal kayak gitu-gitu bener-bener ga perlu. Peradaban mal tuh ngerusak anak-anak jaman sekarang. Belom bisa ngehasilin duit, udah minta yang enggak-enggak. Apalagi cowok, mau nraktir pacar, tapi pake uang orang tua. Sampah juga, lumayan..

Terus gw nemu ide dari internet untuk hidup minimalis. Hidup pake hal-hal yang dibutuhin aja. Gw lumayan tergerak. Gw liat barang-barang di kamar gw dan berpikir, barang apa aja sih yang gw butuhin untuk bisa nerusin hidup. Dan ternyata banyak barang yang bisa gw hidup tanpanya. Ga butuh iket rambut berbagai warna, dvd lama numpuk. Kenapa barang-barang itu dibiarin duduk gitu aja di rumah tanpa bisa lebih berguna yah. Coba kalo gw oper ke orang, pasti lebih berguna.

Terus gw belajar kebudayaan Australia semester tiga. Tentang gaya hidup yang orang-orangnya dinamain drover yang intinya mereka homeless sih, tapi keren aja gitu. Pake tas gede satu, sama bawa ember kaleng satu. Mereka udah bisa hidup, cari duit dari kerja serabutan. Kalo gw cowok, pingin deh kayak gitu. Lagu waltzing matilda itu tentang frover. Tas gombal mereka dinamain Matilda. Cute.

Jadi, apa maksudnya gw nuis ini? Gw pingin entar kalo udah gede, duit gw banyak, tapi setiap ada lebihan duit, ga gw simpen. Gw investasiin. Tapi investasinya yang bagus gitu, jangan saham lalala. Jadi gw sekolahin anak pembokat, nyumbang ke mesjid, apa kek. Duit ga butuh banyak-banyak. Yang penting udah bisa hidup. Bisa ga yah. Bismillah. Tapi gw punya anak entar. pastinya gw pingin memanjakan mereka. Batasan cukup sama ga cukup jadi rancu. Ah tak tau lah.

Kadang-kadang gw ngerasa pikiran gw kayak laki-laki. Atau lebih tepatnya kakek-kakek. Sutra lah.

?

i am wacked
i need help
from where?
God?
Myself?

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, IBNU!!!!

Ibnu temen gw yang paling oke: cerdas tiada tara, tampan dan sexy bak anak sultan arab, putra terbaik ciputat baru. Gw kenal ibnu dari kelas 2 sma, temen sekelas, setim melulu kalo debat. Ibnu udah ngajarin gw banyaaaaaaaak banget. Dari gw yang dulu culun, goblok, naif, dan norak; sekarang gw jadi miss sastra 2009, ini semua karena bantuan Ibnu.

Ibnu selamet ulang tahun ke 20!! Doa gw, semoga lo makin kuat berhubungan sama Allah dan menyadari alesan-Nya nyiptain elo, yaitu untuk sebuah kebaikan bagi human kind dalam skala besar.

Gw percaya banget bahwa lo punya kekuatan yang gedeeeeeee banget untuk menjalankan segala apa-apa yang bakal lo jalanin di hidup ini. Kekuatan lo tanpa batas nu. Dengan segala kecerdasan lo, gw tau bahwa lo bakal bisa menuhin semua keinginan dan kebutuhan lo dengan cara yang HALAL dan gak CULAS (bwakakak), sehingga bisa fokus ke hal-hal lain yang berguna buat kemanusiaan. Semoga lo bisa ngebahagiain emak lo dengan semua prestasi yang bakal lo capai, dan bisa nyokong emak lo di umur tuanya entar. Ibnu, gw pingin liat lo jadi presiden!

Ibnu, lo sekarang berkepala dua!! Apa itu artinya??

Ibnu lo musti tau bahwa dari semua orang yang lo kenal, setelah emak dan bapak lo, GUWEEY adalah orang yang paling paling paling menginginkan kebahagiaan lo nu. Semoga semoga semoga semuanya tercapai ibnu. Segala yang material dan segala yang spiritual tercapai semua. Semoga lo merasakan komplitnya hidup dunia-akhirat dan menikmati secara orgasmik tiap detik prosesnya.

Ibnu ibnu ibnu!!!!!









Catatan ini saya tulis karena saya tau bahwa ibnu bakal jadi penggede berpengaruh gila-gilaan. Jadi dorongan untuk menjilat udah dateng dari sekarang.

MAXimizing Debate Performance

As a crappy debater now and then, my relationship with the debating world has been and on and off. The Indonesian term is, kapok sambel (in english, chilli-give-up, i guess) Because it's so hot, you said you've given up, and don't want to continue wating it, but you'll e coming back for more the next day.

In helping my self to survive the harsh debating life, i wrote this paragraph on my writing class.


Enjoy!

Maximing Debate Performance

Debate competition rounds can be stressful if you do not master these steps. Before the speech, you should have an effective preparation that will save your time. Plan what you are going to look for in your research, so you will not waste time on reading materials that are of no worth to your arguments. The general guideline is using 5W+1H question words when treating an issue. These questions will help you understand the issue completely. Next, when building the case, your arguments have to be logical, populist, and feasible. The points you bring should be acceptable to the logic of common people, and your solution should be something that could be applied and not harm anyone. For example, you cannot say that killing the poor is the best solution for solving poverty, because this kind of idea would not go in line with other people’s thoughts. During the speech, you have to be confident with whatever you are saying whether you even understand it or not. In order to show this attitude, eye contact is mostly the key that the adjudicators use when scoring the debater. Then you have to be fierce to show that you do not give up easily. In conclusion, the pride of winning could be yours if you stick to these procedures.

INDON VS MALINGSIA, THE DEBATE

GUESS WHAT???? I GUESS THE BLAH-BLAHS ABOUT INDONESIA VS MALAYSIA IS BULLSHIT!!!

FOR ME, THERE ARE NO RIGHT OR WRONG, COZ WE'RE BROTHERS WHO INHERIT THE SAME STUFF FROM THE FUCKIN SAME ANCESTORS.

THERE, I SAID IT.







AND THANK GOD, I GOT THE MALAYSIAN SIDE IN A DEBATE IN FIB. SO I CAN KICK BUTTS, AND HELP PEOPLE TO WAKE UP!! SEE THE LIGHT!



AND GUESS WHAT?



MY TEAM WON ~yeeeey~




Well, this is the speech:

My Speech for Debate Qualification

Good evening.

As the first speaker of the Malaysian team, I would like to talk about how what the Malaysian did was actually the fruit of cultural spread. Let’s take a look at how the culture spread in Malaysia. Well, sixty percent of the Malaysians are Melayu people or Malay people. That makes them the majority, and the ancestry that is claimed by the Malays are from Aceh, Arab, Banjar, Bugis, Java, Minangkabau, even Philippines and Vietnam. What the Malays inherit from their ancestors are of course the values held, way of living, and culture product.

Remember the people are already there in the Malaysian territory from a long time ago. They have lived there and establish their lives, establish their society, and when a society settles in one places, automatically a whole set of culture follows. Taking note to the numerous origins of the Malays, and those origins were located in the territory of Indonesia now, it is no wonder that the culture held have many similarities. In fact, it is the same culture that had slight variations due to the cultural spread.

Let’s look at a simple analogy of a mother who has a recipe for Soto. She has two children, and she gave her recipe to both of them. Then they went to live separately. One in Banjar and one in Pekalongan. They lived there, established their lives, and also develop their Soto. Then, they spawn and pass on their recipe to their descendants. That’s the same thin that happen to Malaysia and Indonesia. Both recipes are from the same root. Thus, there is no pint of turning this into a bilateral problem.

Then, let us look at the psychological reasoning. We have the Malaysians, who had similar culture to Indonesia, which are beautiful, rich, worthy, and priceless. As normal, sane human being representing a country, would it not be rightful to register those precious cultures? Why? Off course so it won’t be lost, to make it easy to preserve, to have something to hold on to and be proud of.

Remember, even though these cultures have similarity to the Indonesian’s, be it rendang, gamelan, reog, whatever, these are the cultures that really exist among the lives of the Malaysian people.

We cannot hide that fact. We cannot lie and say that it doesn’t exist because we want to fulfill our neighboring country’s rage.

Let’s take a look of what the rages are that some people of Indonesia that represented their country did. From the MetroTV news station 27^th September, there happened demonstrations in front of Malaysian offices, throwing eggs to Malaysian Embassy, Malaysian flag burning, and Malaysian citizen sweeping. All these acts are anarchic acts that actually do not go along the opening of UUD 1945 which is Indonesia’s lawful constitution. It states that Indonesia wants to help create world peace.

So, what does all this commotion show?

This shows the ignorance of the Indonesian people. How they don’t want to acknowledge that there really is a culture spread going on, and there is no right or wrong on this issue. This is a natural thing that happened.

We have to change the idea that since our ancestors made those cultures, and that no one except us are allowed to use it, or to cherish it, or even to celebrate its existence.

The objective of our team is to open up the eyes of the Indonesians and let tolerance in to reach the aim of UUD ’45 which is to create world peace.

The Olympus Trip 35

This holiday, I found a vintage Olympus camera in a box in my mother’s closet. Unlike vintage plastic ones, this one looks more handsome because the outer body is made of metal and it is encased with a black checked jacket. By checking the production code inside the film compartment, I found out that the camera was manufactured in October 1977. Thus, this camera has been around for 32 years. What’s more remarkable is that the camera is still working in good condition which I think is because of its manual feature that makes it quite tough for all these years.

I have never used a manual camera before. To make things worse, my father doesn’t feel like teaching me. He said that I should just use the usual digital camera. Manuals are inconvenient and more expensive in its operation due to its film purchasing and photo developing process. So I went online to find the instructions and learn it myself. Afterwards, I went to buy the film and it cost 28 thousand rupiah. I was in shock because I thought films are like 6 thousand rupiah now due to the lower demand of films. When I went to my father for more money, he gave me the-I-told-you so eyes.

Then it came to the time I test the camera. Najwa, Novi and I went to the food promenade in Tebet and start shooting. At first we just took normal smiling photos at the café we were eating in. But after seeing the minor traffic jam, I had an idea where Najwa and Novi should strike a pose between the cars as if they were the ones who made the traffic happen. To make long story short, it failed because the traffic was actually quite free when they crossed the road. Even though I haven’t developed the photos, I could tell that there will be no cars around the girls in the photo. Maybe I'll upload the photo later, when I find the time to scan 'em up.

Solution for Poverty

News programs and newspapers always cover about the negative issues in the society. We know the types. From natural disasters, criminal actions, economy downfall, religious clashes, war between nations and all things that signifies suffering of the people. These problems already exist since the beginning of time, but it seems to get worse by the year. What is more hurtful is that the ones who feel the direct hit of pain are usually the people living below poverty line. They don’t have enough supply of money to cope with the problems of the world when we know that money is the generator of human lives nowadays. For example, when a war happens in a country, the people who can flee out and find safer places to finally survive the chaos are the ones who can afford to take such flight. Another example is when a plague occurs; the ones who have the funds for medication are more likely to heal and live. So, in order to survive from modern society tragedies, human needs money as their assurance.

What happen to the poor then? Now let’s take a look at how poor people are being exploited in the media. News about Lumpur Porong survivors and reality shows of poor farmers are aired everyday. We can see how the old farmer weeps about how helpless he is when his crops fail and how he doesn’t know where to go in seeking help. Ideally, the government will help him. They will aid him in replanting the crops and give fund for his basic needs until the next crops harvested, but we all know that it is hardly going to happen due to the corrupted and blind government that we have. This example is only a small fragment of the trouble that our country has to solve. According to Bappenas, the number of impovered Indonesian in 2009 is 29.99 million. Something fast has to be done in order to save these people. That’s why I’m here to offer a solution which is by terminating these people.

We all know that the government is lacking in attention to these people, and these people are never going to be taken care of if the government stays the same. By terminating them, we are saving them from onward suffering. It’s the government’s task to classify which ones to be demolished and the common grounds will be the ones who don’t have function in society which is the poor and unskilled. If we want to terminate them, the action must be done to the whole dysfunctional class in order to demolish poverty thoroughly. To make things better, the corpses should be processed in a way that will advantage the country. Make it into fertilizer, for instance.

This will bring huge a controversy due to ethical and religious reasons, but this is the fastest solution by far. Now all we need is a leader and his apparatus that is not afraid to overcome the sin. We need a leader who will accept the possibility that he might go to hell because of this policy. We need a leader that is willing to sacrifice his self for the people. We need Jesus.

Minimalism

Try to look at the things that are in the drawers of your study desk. I can guess that there will be some things that have not been touched for a few months, even years. Among them there will be things that you bought at a bazaar just because you think it is cute. You never used it because you don’t need it, but you feel that your money will become a waste if you get rid of it. So the item is stuck in the drawers without having its share of use in the world.

Well that is the problem with nearly half of my possessions. The items are from little things like all sizes of adhesive labels, a box full of hair clips from the nineties that are too childish too be worn, up to huge rolls of posters that I took off from my wall, because I hate how the people on the poster were watching me when I sleep. I always kept them lying about in my room without ever thinking that they could be of greater use, had I let them be possessed by someone else in need.

Not just my drawer, but the room was filled with un-useful things that drive my mother crazy, because she believes in minimalism. In how I view it, minimalism is a way of life where you only possess things that are useful for sustaining. She has been a devoted practitioner since she was born, and her office has no aesthetic ornaments at all. I never buy in to her idealism, because I used to believe that cute items give happiness in life.

Then my mother told me to clean up my bedroom. She gathered all my things on the floor and forced me to determine which items that I cannot live without, and which items that will be more useful if it is given to someone else. It was then that I realized that there are more un-useful things than the useful ones. I now understand that those things have nothing to do with my personal growth in being a better person, and they will not help me with anything other than taking up spaces in my room. So, every time I encounter something nice in a store, I ask myself “Do you need it or do you want it?”

The Cheese Grater

Dear whom who reads this,

I'm writing you this letter from the kitchen of my master. I'm a cheese grater. My body is square and has holes through it. On top of every hole, there placed a blade that is used to cut and shape up the cheese. With my body, the cheese that is swiped through me will turn into pieces depending on which side of my body my master uses.

There is a side that I call the angel hair side where the pieces grated are long and thin, very thin. Those fine cuts can only be made in heaven because only the Lord have the skill in cutting like that. It's so thin, it's like the blood vessels of my master but it wouldn't be nice to name it blood vessel side. Thus, I name it angel hair.

Then there is the lazy side.This side grates the cheese into big chunks. My master uses this side when she doesn't feel like having fine cuts. She either has not the time or she is just too lazy to make angel hair. Angel hair takes time you know. Since we have to summon the Lord down to earth first before creating her.

Then there is the misshapen side. In order to show her some respect, I name her Ms. Shapen. The cut it makes are always different shaped. I heard my master discussed this side of my body with his cousin Liam. He theorized on how my manufacturer was feeling a little bit artsy when designing this side. That explains why there are different styles of blades on this side of my body. The problem is that instead of creating beautiful state-of-the-art cheese shapes, it's fruit are actually ugly. My master never used this side. That's why the blades are still very sharp unlike angel hair and lazy. Sometimes when she feels very upset, she will cut my master's finger a little. That's the punishment for never using Ms. Shapen.

The last side I have is the paper cutter side. It only has one hole that is long like the mouth of a mail box. The cheese that goes through it will come out like papers! My master uses this side when she doesn't have much cheese in her storage. The thin slices will create the illusion as if it is a nice huge size of cheese. Although it is actually very thin, and stingy..

So that is my story, sweet reader. I think I might write you another letter from the recycling centre in Oldtown when my master drops me there because me blades are no more sharp and me body is no more stainless. One thing you should remember, the term 'stainless steel' is just a lie!! Remarkable isn't it. I overheard my manufacturer confessed this with his dear friend over beer at the workshop.



Until then, take care.



Cheesia Gratia







P.S. Write back!